Still Young

Lately I feel as if I spend a lot of time waiting here.  Waiting for Zach to come, then waiting for our Christmas trip, then waiting for my mom to visit, then waiting till I go home, waiting for the doctor to arrive, waiting for January to start, waiting for Monday, for Tuesday, for Sabbath, for the next week to begin....

Isn't it funny how that works?  I have wished time and time again that I could just live in the present, enjoying every moment that passes.  My time here is so short, and yet it feels like it will last a thousand more years.  Time is a funny thing, and since I have lived in the Philippines it has felt even more funny.  Ah, the waiting game.  My least favorite game, yet the one that I play the most often.  

Earlier this week we took a day off and went with the Adventist Youth to the Burgos Lighthouse, the Rock Formations, and Kaangrian Falls.  They were all fun, but Kaangrian was absolutely beautiful.  Pool after pool cascade into more pools, creating this beautiful layer of waterfalls.  We clamored up and down the falls, jumping off cliffs and climbing up the jungle vines. Then we swam down the river, climbing down the next falls and letting the cool, blue water rush over us.  Leaves would fall into the river and the sunlight would filter through the tropical trees, and I felt like I was in Colorado mixed with the place that Timon and Pumba live in The Lion King.  

We have spent a lot of time this week with the AY; they helped us out with VBS and spent the night almost every night.  We had a popcorn party and played Sardines around the church, running and tripping over hospital construction supplies.  There are several AYs:  Rhea, (Rizal's daughter and the one we see the most) Krystel and Karan (sisters who are 18 and 20; Karan has an adorable little daughter named Sum-Sum) Carina (the quietest one, she lives across the street), Dave, Zernon, (two jokester guys), and Cliff (a nurse who helps out in the clinic).  They are all our age and quite fun to hang out with.  The other day we were playing with our new kitten (named Sundae;  she got shook by a dog a couple days ago and has been a little special since...) and Krystel smiled at her and goes, "that is a cat."  Katelyn and I burst out laughing at the random, obvious statement.  It's statements like these that make me love hanging out with them.  We have met so many nice, fun people these last few weeks; especially the kids.  We have a new gaggle of girls 11-14 years old who have nicknamed me "graduation" because my birthday falls during graduation time for them (March).

Sometimes when we go visiting, people ask me how old I am.  When I tell them that I am 20 years old, they almost always say, "Ah, still young."  It always makes me smile a little bit.  Sometimes I forget that I am still so young.  I like the sound of it, though.  "Still young."  It reminds me of being at Kaangrian, jumping over rocks and climbing up the vines, I felt like my body could do anything and go anywhere.  I wish that were always the case!  

In other news, I am going to start teaching piano lessons once everyone gets back from Christmas break. I have eleven students signed up and am anxious to see how it will go.  Heather, Emily, and I leave for Manila on the 23rd and will be there until the first of January.  We hope to find some fun stuff to do.  After that, January will hit and we will start the downhill slope towards home.  Our doctor arrives on the 12th of January and we are all very anxious for him to come and to get some medical experience.  

 The rice fields early in the morning

 VBS

 Clockwise from bottom: Rhea, Krystel, Katelyn, Emily, Heather, Me

 Little RJ

 During a funeral service, right before the burial

 Me, Karan, and Katelyn at the rock formations

 Me on top of the rock formation

 Kaangrian Falls

For now, though, I'm still playing that waiting game and living my "young" life.  Here's some pics of what we've been up to!  

Warm Winter Evening

84 degrees tonight.  The warmest December 2 I can remember having.
But it's a nice warmth...even though I miss the Christmas-y feeling that I usually get this time of year from the cold and coziness of a crackling fire and the warm glow of my family's living room...I still like this summer warmth, the clearest of clear sunny days and bright blue sky, and at night sparkling stars.   I am always hot, and usually sweating, but I am warm and have bare feet and I like it.

Today we brought Nieves down from her hill-top home so that she could see the visiting doctor.  Heather and I got a trike and found our way to her barangay.  We clamored up the even roots and steps to her house and found her eating papaya and laughing.  Her pregnant daughter-in-law was in the kitchen; she came out and smiled at us, her hands resting on her hips, her belly huge.  She is due in about a week.  Nieves had her prosthetic leg on already and had been waiting for us.  We helped her with her crutches and one of her young relatives helped her down the slippery rock steps.  Heather and I flitted nervously behind her, ready to catch if she fell.

Later, Nieves told me of her life and the places she had been.  She is only in her late fifties, but looks older than that.  Losing her leg to diabetes has aged her, I think.  She was a nanny for a wealthy Indian family for nearly 30 years and has visited Singapore, Hong Kong, Sri Lanka, New York City, Paris, London, Rome, Switzerland....she talks about the places with such a faraway look in her eyes and a slight smile on her face that I can tell she misses it, I can tell she feels resigned to her fate of not having health anymore.  But she looks peaceful, and smiles a gap-toothed smile at me.  She looks sad and wise, like she has seen pain but has accepted it.

Late in the afternoon we walk down to the beach.  The sun is getting low in the sky, but still very bright. We walk south, squinting at the sun's reflection off the ocean.  We walk to where a river runs into the ocean.  Many men are down by the river, stripped down to their underwear and fishing for the tiny fish.  They lift their green, gossamer nets into the river and swing them back up; the sun shines through them and they look like glittering kites.  A little boy peers at us from his perch on a beached fishing boat.  "I love you too!" He shouts over and over at us.  That's one way of being optimistic...

I can hear the crickets outside my window, and if I look directly out I can seen Orion perfectly, my favorite constellation.  It is a winter constellation, and I have to remind myself that it is Winter, and that it is some kind of Christmas, here, too.  Even in my shorts and t-shirt, it is Christmas.

The Pearl of the Orient

Wow.  Two months ago on this day, I was preparing to embark on my SM adventure.  I had no idea it would be such a roller coaster of new experiences and emotions.  I was talking to a friend on facebook the other day, who is also overseas for the year.  He was saying what a great year he was having, and how it was hard and yet the "highs" were really high.  I think this perfectly describes the emotions I've experience over here.  The downs have been extremely down, and yet the ups have been very high.  It's like everything is magnified or intensified.

We recently got back from one of our "highs"-a great trip to Mt. Palanza and Baguio.  We were invited by the CVSH medical mission team, the ones who came and did medical clinic and circumcisions at our hospital earlier this fall.  After weeks of anticipation, we finally left last wednesday on our 10 hour bus ride to Baguio.  We were all excited to see Baguio, because it is in the mountains and is known for its cooler weather.

Our bus ride was an experience in itself.  The bus companies like to let people on even after all the seats are filled.  The bus was already full when we got on, and I don't think all the SMs had a seat until maybe three hours before we got there.  It was fine, though, and the only tense moment was when I was still in a gas station and the bus started to pull away without me.  I ran towards it yelling "wait for me!" (it is not my ideal wish to be stranded in a strange city in the Philippines...) Thankfully, my panicking was rewarded and they stopped to let me on.

We arrived in Baguio at night.  It is beautiful there; most of the houses are on the hillsides and with all the lights it made for a pretty picture.  We stayed at the SDA mission in town (spicket for a shower) and hung out at the mall in the evening.  (They had a Starbucks, which made our stay that much more enjoyable...:))

The next day, we took another bus farther into the mountains to meet up with CVSH.  Once we met up with them, we crammed into their van with our backpacks and blankets (none of us brought sleeping bags with us from the states) and started up the bumpy dirt road.  Eventually, we switched to an open backed vegetable truck and that took us the rest of the way to the school where we were to do a med clinic.  At the school, we were greeted with squat pots and boiled sweet potatoes (apparently in the mountains sweet potatoes are a staple, and they only have rice when they are celebrating something) The med clinic went fine; I helped the doctor's wife, Charlene, give out medicines to the patients.  It was fun playing pharmacy.  That night fog settled in and we slept on the cold hard floors of the classrooms in the school.

The next morning we took a vegetable truck to the top of the mountain we were on.  The view was absolutely breathtaking, with the sun rising above the fog and the cabbage patches built into the hillsides.  We reached the top and then started the 4 hour hike to Balete, the village where we were to do another clinic.  It was about 7 miles of mountainous terrain, up to the top of another mountain and then down into the valley.  I couldn't believe there was actually a village down there.  The only way of getting there is by a very scary motor bike ride or walking.

When we finally reached the school (we got to cross an awesome and scary hanging bridge over a rushing river) we dropped off our stuff and me, Aaron, Kim, a guide, and McCoy and Victor (a couple of the guys who were part of the med mission group) decided we hadn't had enough hiking and decided we wanted to go to a waterfall that was supposed to be nearby.  It turned out to be forever away, back up the mountain from where we had come and then down into another little valley--all downhill, so we knew we were going to have a fun time coming back up.  Our guide had to bushwack his way through the brush and palms to get us to the waterfall.  Apparently no one goes down there often.  When we got there, though, we were rewarded with one of the most beautiful falls I had seen.  They said I was the first American girl to ever be there, and I believe them--it was like this gorgeous little hidden corner of the earth that no one had seen before.  It made me wonder how many more beautiful sites there are that no one has ever been to.

The next morning (after an interesting shower from buckets) we did a short medical clinic and I helped give out medicines again.  One group started the hike back up to the school we had originally stayed at and it was decided that the rest of us would come on motorcycles later.  After the clinic we decided that we would start hiking and meet the bikes on our way up.  There were three SMs-Kim, Justin, and I, and then a bunch of the filipino group-Rineth, Elaine (who kindly gave me her arm warmers when it got cold), Charlene, Erwin, Lala, and a guide.  We hiked and hiked and hiked.  Finally the bikes came, but there weren't enough, so we just gave them our packs and continued hiking.  It was getting dark out, we weren't even halfway up the mountain, and we'd already been hiking for four hours.  We pressed on, though, each of us pairing up with someone who had a headlamp.  Erwin and I were in front, and as soon as we got to the top of the mountain the fog cleared and everything was so clear and beautiful.  The city lights were in the distance and the stars were the brightest and most vivid I'd ever seen them . On the way down, Erwin told me about the Philippine national anthem and how one of the lines was "The Philippines, the pearl of the Orient..." right then, it seemed very fitting.

Eventually, we got back to the school, spent the night there, and continued onto Baguio the next afternoon.  We spent the next day in Baguio.  Victor, one of the med techs from the trip, offered to show us around the city and had his friend Brian tote us around in the back of a pickup truck all day.  It was SO much fun; and I got more souvenirs than should be legally allowed (4 T-shirts, 2 beanie hats, 5 keychains, 4 bracelets, and a pair of earrings-all for under $15).  We went to the military academy, a Chinese temple, 2 botanical gardens, the weaving factory, a giant lion's head carved into rock, and the huge Baguio market (famous for its strawberries and honey) and topped off the day with dinner at Brian's and the boys eating Balut for the first time.

Balut is a chick fetus that's still inside the egg.  Yum.  I did not partake in this section of the meal.

And that's our trip.  It was the most fun in the Philippines I have had so far, and we are all excited for our next trip with CVSH.

But that was over a week ago, and now we are back to the rhythm of things.  I came back to Pagudpud to find that our internet worked again, but sadly my computer didn't.  I was able to get it fixed and am hopefully going to pick it up tomorrow.

Oh, and remember how I lost that flip-flop the day the wave on the beach knocked me over and got my camera wet?

Well, Aaron happened to be walking on the beach last Sunday wearing the mate to the flip-flop he had also lost in the same wave.     A fisherman who was on the beach noticed his flipflop and said he had the match to it.  Aaron asked if he had a girl's one too, and turns out the man did.  He had found the flipflops stuck in some rocks along the beach and had kept them, thinking he might find the owners someday.  Now tell me, what are the odds of that?  What are the odds of Aaron being at the beach, wearing his mateless flipflop, seeing the same fisherman, and the fisherman saving our flipflops?  I have been the beach here many times; there is an abandoned flipflop about every ten feet.  Why would he pick up ours?

I suppose if God cares for my flipflop, then he cares for everything else, as well.

Typhoon

Here is a depressing entry I wrote while our power was out...ha

October 21, 2010

“I was happy in my harbor till you cut me loose, floating on an ocean and confused, winds are whipping waves up like skyscrapers, and the harder they hit me, the less I seem to bruise.  And when I finally control, I’ll go where I like, I know where I want to be, but maybe for now I’ll stay right here, on a silent sea.”

This week…I can’t begin to describe how ridiculous it’s been.  We got a typhoon warning Sunday evening.  The typhoon was supposed to hit Monday night at be a category 3 (out of 5).  I was excited, and things seemed to be going well.  We had an adorable kitten, good internet service that allowed us to talk to friends and family and stay connected to the world, a good plan for the next week, a fun trip the week after, and an impending trip to Laoag. 

            We went to Laoag on Monday.  The rain was starting to come and the wind had kept me awake for a long time the night before, but I was still in good spirits.  Laoag was fun, as usual.  We got supplies for our fall party that we had planned for Saturday night. 

            When we got back to Pagudpud, the rain and wind had really started to pick up.  We went down to the beach to look at the waves.  I was just amazed at the sheer power of the wind.  It almost knocked me over.  We walked back to our house.  The sun had set and it was cloudy and dark out.  The sky looked ominous.  The boys went to the market to get dinner supplies and the girls walked to the bottom floor of the church.  The next thing I remember is Emily saying, “Ah!  What’s wrong with the cat??”

I ran over.  The kitten was lying at a funny angle between the heavy open door at the bottom of the stairs and the doorframe.  She didn’t look gruesome, but she didn’t look alive and I don’t really want to go into detail. 

“She’s dead!” I said incredulously as I carefully picked her up and cradled her in my hands.   The wind had blown the big heavy door right on the kitty.  She looked like her neck was broken. 

            Emily ran to get the boys from the market and they rushed back.  The kitty was dead, and there was nothing we could do.  We just gathered around the little body in shock and as we did the lights flickered and the power went out and we were stuck in blackness.  I felt so…low and hopeless. 

            The storm raged all night.  There were winds like I have never heard before and like I never want to hear again.  We had drinking water, but our cooking and bathing water were gone.  Our house is strong and made out of solid cement, but that still didn’t keep me from feeling very afraid and very alone.  I just kept thinking, “Why?” over and over.  And I’m still thinking that.  Our internet was fried after the storm and it’s been hard to not be able to consistently talk to my parents and friends.  Today we were walking on the beach and all of the sudden this wave came really swiftly towards us (the waves have been really big because of the typhoon) and knocked me over into the sand and water.  I lost one of my flip-flops, got some cuts and bruises, and got sandy and soaking wet.  The worst part was that I had my camera (that I am in love with) with me, and it got wet.  I am still waiting for it to dry.  I hope it works. 

            At the moment, I just really want to go home.  I don’t understand where God is, and why he seems so incredibly SILENT about everything.  Everything bad that has happened in the last few days is because of the typhoon.  I do not want another one.  I want Internet and mild weather and my kitty back.  Actually, I really just want to go home to Spokane and hang out with my family and then curl up in my safe, warm bed in my safe, normal house.

            I know I sound very negative right now, but I am just down.  Today wasn’t awful—we went to Coconut Hill to pick up coconuts for the party and that was fun.  Then later I got to talk to my parents and Zach and after that we went to Jamie Argaza’s 18^th birthday party.  Uncle Elly, Pastor Mark, Lizette, Suzette (Elly’s daughters), and I made a card for Jamie and it was nice just hanging out with them.  Elly liked my paints and brushes (thanks to my mom and her artistic-ness I have really nice paints and brushes) and wanted to know if I could get some more.  I am hoping that my mom can pick up a bunch for him. 

Jamie’s party was fun; pretty much everyone we knew was there and there was a lot of laughing and talking and eating.  We had chocolate cake and later played truth or dare.  I really love the people here.  I just wish that I could have these people with me in America instead of me here with them in the Philippines. 

  But, that is selfish and in my “down-ness” and “depression” I often forget why I am here.  And right now I honestly can’t remember why I am here.  But I know that there is a purpose for me and that things will get better very soon.  At least that’s what I tell myself, because I will go crazy if I don’t tell myself that.  Sigh.  Time for another night, maybe it will be better in the morning.  I guess I will just keep praying to my silent God, wherever He may be.  

Land of Milk and Honey

The Church at Blue Lagoon last Sabbath

Well.  Another Thursday night.  Only...28 more Thursdays left.  That's not so bad.  

Heather and I went to the clinic to help today.  There were lots of people there, but not much we could really help with.  Just a lot of mothers getting vitamins for their children.  We did get to ride on the ambulance, though.  Not to anywhere exciting; just to put chlorine in a couple of the wells around Pagudpud.  

While we were at the first well, it hit me how absolutely poverty stricken our town is...or actually, all of the Philippines.  Every house is made from cement.  Some of the houses are finished on the inside, but most just look how a tiny unfinished basement might look.  There is dirt and muck and trash all around, everywhere you go.  The people are always clean, I guess, but most just look poor.  There are children everywhere.  When we first got here, Uncle Elly asked me if I had noticed that there were so many children.  

"Yeah, there's a ton!" I said.  

"In the Philippines we have a saying," he laughed. "When the seas get rough, so do the men."

Well, I guess that explains something.    

We almost got to see a childbirth today, but at the last moment (right as she was starting to push!) the parents of the mother (she was only 17) decided that she should have her privacy.  This makes sense, of course, but it would have been nice if they had decided that before we had waited an hour for the birth.  

This afternoon Uncle Elly came to give the girls painting lessons.  Elly is quite the artist and has done several murals in the church and around town.  We painted scenes on plywood (he said he would graduate us to canvas later) and each of us painted mountains, grass, and hills.  When I asked Elly for advice on my mountains, he contemplated my picture it for a moment and then said: "those mountains are not from here." 

"What?" I said.

"I mean they are not Filipino mountains.  They look like something from Alaska."

Well go figure.  I guess you can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl.  Ha.  

Tonight us SMs sat around the dinner table like we always do and talked about whatever.  We are starting to be less of acquaintances and more of siblings...notice that we seem to have skipped the friend stage.  Not that we don't like each other, because we do, of course.  But imagine how you are with your siblings.  You always love them and trust them, but sometimes they drive you absolutely nuts.   

Sometimes the group is so family-ish it's funny.  We even have a little kitten now that we rescued out of a ditch last Sabbath.   We eat dinner together, have a pet cat, argue over the food, finances, chores, jobs, etc, laugh a lot, make sarcastic comments a lot, get excited about the same events, leave our stuffeverywhere, do our laundry together, and on and on.  If this is how family-ish we are after a month and a half...how are we going to be by April?? Good grief.  

We all still miss home.  We talk about food a lot.  If someone said I could have any item in the world right now...I think I would pick a mall pretzel.  I really do.  A nice salty soft pretzel with cream cheese dip from Auntie Anne's in the mall.   Mmmm.  Or maybe a pop tart.  My mom was supposed to send me some of those but I think she forgot.  Or a nice sugary melty slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream.  

Anyway, food is a common topic of conversation around here.  

It's funny.  Usually people in America, myself included, act so pity-filled when they hear of or see poverty like this.  But these people don't know anywhere else.  This is their life, it's there reality.  They don't really know about the amazing wealth there is elsewhere, so they don't miss it.  They have the same amount of "happiness" we have in America.  They have a normal day to day life like everyone in the States.  They don't pity themselves or see themselves as poor.  They are fine, they are normal.  It's like the poverty is in our eyes only, because we know what they are missing out on.  However, most of them have a view of America like it is a magical land where there will be no more tears.  They can get jobs there.  They can be rich there.  They can make it big.  We talked to the principal of the elementary school on Wednesday when we were volunteering.  She is a character of a lady, and she smiled when the topic of America came up.  

"Ah yes," she said.  "Here, America is called the 'land of milk and honey'. Did you know that?"

Sunny with a Chance of Heat Stroke

Terra Rica on Saud Beach

Me looking for shells

Philippine countryside

Passing out Pamphlets in our matching shirts

A picture that looks like it could be on ADRA. This little boy is from a very poor family.

So I just checked the weather. Here is the weather forecast for the next 5 days in Pagudpud:

Sunny(Humid) Sunny(Humid) Sunny(Humid) Sunny(Humid) Sunny(Humid)

86 86 87 87 88

And Summer here doesn't actually start until March. Oh good.

Last Sabbath we spent the morning handing out pamphlets. My group was me, Kim (guy SM), Odette, and several other church members. We went up a ways in the mountains, past Pancuin. It was very tropical and pretty, we saw monkeys (they were pets...we gave one a pamphlet, and he promptly ripped it in half) and a mountain dam. On the way back down, we stopped for coke and sticky rice. Odette laughed at one of the other church ladies for eating so much sticky rice. "That's why you're so fat!" She exclaimed. Kim and I just looked at each other incredulously. Like, did she really just say that? But here, calling someone fat doesn't hold the same weight (ha) as it does in the Philippines. It is more like an observation than an insult.

Later, we went to build a bonfire on the beach with a bunch of other AY members (adventist youth). Uncle Elly, Uncle Rizal, Rhea, Auntie Noemi, and Pastor Mark also came. It was completely pitch black out, until we got the beach. The stars were absolutely incredible. It was one of those moments that you wish you could just capture and show it to everyone you know. There were more stars than I have ever seen in my life, and the milky way was so clear. All along the horizon, clouds had gathered and a crazy lightening storm was going on. The ocean was dotted with the lights of fishing boats and looked like something off of Pirates of the Caribbean. The sky looked like a giant dome had been opened; I don't know how to describe it...the world just looked extra round and big and vast. For awhile, everyone just sat quietly around the fire and watched and listened and looked.

There are times here where I feel so alive, and times when I feel so apathetic and lethargic

On the way home from the beach, I rode in between Noemi and Rhea on the motorbike, while everyone else rode with Uncle Rizal. This is when I feel alive, when I am riding through a dark, warm Philippine evening, with the wind blowing in the hair. This is when I feel like I am on an adventure, when I feel like I am living in some crazy, amazing life. I wish I could keep that high. Really, I was just a white girl sandwiched between two Filipinos on a motorbike. We probably looked like an Oreo rolling down the street.

Many things happened this week. We went to our first Necrological service (a viewing of a dead person's body before the funeral). It was an experience, and the body looked....well, especially pickled. We went to Laoag and saw Despicable Me in the theater ($2.50!). We all walked out of the theater kind of dazed...it felt so American and normal being in an air-conditioned theater again, it felt like we should just walk back out into our regular lives. We celebrated Justin's birthday at Saud beach, and Odette's birthday at her house, where we were served Fungus Stew and hot pink cake and got to watch an American movie on TV. Heather and I got to listen to a fetus's heartbeat and watch a tooth be pulled today while we were volunteering in the clinic. It was blazing hot today (as always) so us girls went and played in the ocean for awhile. I found a really sweet looking dead crab on the way back with really long red-striped spindly legs. I stopped by Rhea's house to show it to her, and she promptly told me it was poisonous. Oh good. Later, the boys made dinner: mashed potatoes, beans, grapefruit, and vegetables, and now here we are. Thursday night. Another week has almost gone by.

October! October! October!

At Saud beach again at sunset Don't know why this is here twice... Sabbath Lunch!
A sweet ship wreck!
Little Brittany leading me on the beach

Tomorrow is October first, which means I will be here for 7 more months! We fly back May first. It's hard to believe I have been here for almost a month. The first week went by very slow, but now the weeks are starting to go by a little faster. It is almost constantly warm and sunny. Yesterday it actually rained (amazing, considering it's the rainy season!) and we all put on jackets. It felt delicious.

Last Sabbath we went to a new church, out in a little coastal town called Pancuin or something like that. It was about 40 km away, and after one breakdown on our tricycle and a beautiful drive, we got there. Church was held in a karaoke bar. We did church for the kids, and a little girl named Brittany and I got to be friends. She was probably 3, totally adorable, and was fascinated with my camera case. After lunch (beans and rice...a far cry from Sabbaths at home!) we went down to the beach to bless a fishing net. The beach was SO pretty--the sky was this deep blue color, which matched the fishing boats and turned the water a pretty turquoise. Combined with the burgundy color of the fishing nets, it looked beautiful. On the way back to Pagudpud, we stopped to see a wrecked ship that a typhoon had blown in. It was pretty cool.

We are still waiting for this elusive doctor to show up. We tried to find other things to do this week--Pastor Mark spends nearly the whole day with us, which is fine because he is good company and can take us visiting. Yesterday I gave him a brief outline of the US, after he asked if New Jersey was close to Washington state. :) This week we visited the local clinic and an elementary school, and arranged to volunteer at both places next week. Hopefully this will keep us a little busier!

Today we went to a Bible study at Odette's house (a local church lady) She and her sister served us chips, coffee and tea, and Ferrer Rocher chocolates! Never were there happier student missionaries. Her sister is from Singapore, and suggested we should try and visit. We'd already been looking up flights to Hong Kong and other nearby places, and when we found out flights to Singapore were only $130 and the universal studios there was only $13 to get in....well, we've already started planning a February trip :)

This afternoon us three girls went to the beach for a few minutes. The boys were in charge of dinner, so they went back to try and figure out how to cook beans while we watched the sun set. It was so incredibly pretty. There were these clouds that the sun lit up in such a way that they looked like a painting from the Sistine Chapel...I swear I could almost see the faces of angels or something in them...so pretty. Sometimes I will just get these random "oh my goodness! I'm in the Philippines!" moments.

Some of the differences between us SMs have started to flare up. Mostly over food budget issues, yesterday specifically over egg salad, of all things. Apparently mayonnaise is expensive. We're trying to get along...and most of the time we do, but it's like any other "family"...we get on each other's nerves. We are going to know each other really well when it's all said and done over here.

I guess that's about it. We did laundry today; Heather and I like to do it at Noemi and Rizal's house because they have this cool little well that we get water out of to fill the rinsing buckets with and they also have a little open washing machine that does the actual scrubbing for us. When we went back to pick up our clothes later, Noemi had already folded it all. She folds neater than even Zach, which is really saying something! My underwear are folded into these perfect little origami squares.

Tomorrow is Friday. We will clean and cook and sweat and visit again, a typical day for us. Maybe we'll go to the market; we'll go to vespers and I will probably play the piano. We will get ready for Sabbath (our least favorite day here, unfortunately) It will be October, we will get our stipend, and our second month will begin.

Every Slow Day

Today we went to Laoag again. I always jump at the chance to go to Laoag because it means we will have something to do; it puts us into some action and helps get our minds off stuff.

I almost enjoy the ride to Laoag more than the city itself. It just gives me time to think and watch the world go by. Maybe I just like the feeling of being in a car again. I am starting to recognize landmarks that we pass...the restaurant billboard that advertises "unlimited rice!" instead of "unlimited fries!", the goats and cows along the side of the road, and the Filipino version of speedbumps (little fences put up in each lanes that force you to slow down to go around them, like an obstacle course).

Laoag was busting as usual. We saw white people in the mall today, which was exciting. I have never been excited to see another white person before. I also hit my head on things hanging from store ceilings as usual. I tower over everyone here, even the other SMs. And no one will let me forget it. Emily and I each got a cute pair of Sanuk flip-flops, mine are purple because it was the only decent color they had in my apparently gargantuan foot size. I feel like I'm living in a miniature world; everything is made for smaller people here. Even the sandwich I got at KFC today was maybe half the size of one in the US. It was accompanied by about seven fries, and I am not exaggerating. I suppose it's good that they serve smaller meals. Maybe we should adopt that.

I splurged today and bought essential supplies to get me through the next couple weeks: a toblerone bar, a can of pringles, some grapefruit juice, and a little sample box of ritter chocolates. Yum. They will go nicely with my rice.

Tomorrow the doctor is supposed to come for the day. We were supposed to prepare the clinic as best as we could...which wasn't that much. We swept the floors and finished some inventory and tried to sterilize some instruments. (boiling water for 1/2 hour and bleach? Does that sound right? We didn't really know what we were doing...) I hope it goes okay. I am kind of nervous.

It has also been week of prayer this week, which means I get to play the piano for their hymns. Or maybe more like slaughter the piano for their hymns. But they don't seem to mind too much, which is good news. I suppose it's good practice.

I guess I am kind of writing a lot tonight, but it's a good way to keep my mind off other stuff. I have a headache. I miss my friends and my family and Gracie my dog. I miss burritos and macaroni and cheese and sandwiches. I miss Daisy and my cell phone and I miss the grass in front of my house. I miss Walla Walla and American Eagle and even Home Depot for crying out loud. I am tired of people staring at me anytime I go anywhere. I am tired of not being able to go anywhere by myself. I am tired of the sun, I'm tired of the rain, I'm tired of the ugly warty frogs that jump around the compound at night. I am tired of dwarfing everyone around me. I am tired of not being able to understand anything anybody else is saying and I'm tired of waking up in the morning and realizing that I am still here and missing America so much that it just kind of hurts. I wish I had never taken anything for granted! I wish I had enjoyed every trip to wal-mart more, every cold afternoon and every snowy, foggy morning. I wish I had just soaked it all in, because now I don't have any of it and I wish I did. I wish I had enjoyed my winter clothes more and relished nights when I actually needed blankets to stay warm. If anyone reads this, please, just enjoy whatever you are doing. Because imagine what it would be like if you didn't have it, at all. I am lucky because someday, hopefully, I will have all the American stuff again...but that seems like so far away.

I guess it sounds like I am complaining and not appreciating it here, but that isn't true. I am slowly growing to like it, or at least tolerate it. It comes and goes. The people are nice, and the weather is hot. I got the summer I wanted. I have friends here. I have a beach. I guess contentment is really not about things, huh? It's something inside your head, instead, I think. Now I just have to figure out how to get it.

"When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want, but not what you need...when you feel so tired, but you can't sleep...stuck in reverse. Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you." -Coldplay

Eternal Summer

So, almost time for our second Sabbath in Pagudpud. Apparently I am supposed to play piano for church tomorrow. A lady just mentioned this to me at vespers an hour or so ago and hastily showed me about 1000 hymns I needed to practice. I am not pleased. Most of these hymns are too hard for me, as I have not played the piano consistently for a couple years. So I will probably just be playing the right hand, and they will just have to live with that. However, Rizal just told us that the power is supposed to be off tomorrow from 7 in the morning till five at night...the piano is electric...so unless they turn on the noisy old generator...Acappella! Woohoo. I suppose I will have to get used to playing the piano up front sometime...but I would like to practice a little more first!

It feels really late hear, even though it is just a little after ten. It was another hot day...it looks like it is supposed to be hot all next too. Isn't the rainy season supposed to start by now? I am sitting outside and finally feel perfecttly comfortable...it is probably upper seventies right now, but the humidity always seems less at night which is really nice.

We all kind of feel like we are just twiddling our thumbs until the doctor arrives. The hospital administrator promised that he would be here by the beginning of October, but that is still two weeks away. Today we did more inventory of the clinic--almost all the medicines have expired--and went to the market and the beach. We hiked almost all the way to Saud beach. It was fun, and we played in the water along the way and I worked on my tan. :) Tonight, we made spaghetti and Emily made sauce and Heather made homemade garlic bread. The meal was probably the most delicious thing I have ever had; it tasted soooo good after days and days of rice for lunch and dinner and Milo cereal for breakfast.

Tomorrow we have church. Am headed to bed!

Life is becoming more real and less surreal finally. It is kind of fun having just the SMs here now that all the adult missionaries have left...sometimes we aren't quite sure what to do with ourselves. This week we have done a decent amount of visitations; Elly-one of the church members and construction workers here-takes us to houses translates and helps us visit with the people. The poverty is amazing...everyone lives in one or two room little cement houses. This helps keep it cooler and helps keep stuff from rotting in the humidity, but it is also dark and dank inside these little houses. Today Elly took us to one of his classmates houses. This classmate had a stroke about six years ago and is now no longer able to walk. We met his wife and hi...I think she has a hard time taking care of him. He really wants us to somehow find him a wheel chair. We would love to, but we are not sure how to go about getting him one here...we might have to see if someone could bring us one from the states. Tomorrow we get to learn how to wash our clothes in buckets...yay. And then we have a meeting with the guy who is supposed to be getting us a doctor. Here is a picture of the little girl who got hit by the bus. We went with Elly and Pastor Mark to visit with the mayor about getting her to Manila on an ambulance and getting the money paid back to Nathan, her father. So far it looks like this will all work out, thankfully. The picture is a little gruesome...but it shows what her family (her mother and father are with her in the picture) are going through.

Sabbath, September 11, 2010

Today was our first Sabbath in Pagudpud. It was a tough day…I am still very homesick and all the reminders of home that come with Sabbath didn’t help. I played piano for a song in church today, with Emily on the guitar and everyone else singing…interesting…I never would have done that at home! Still no doctor…it looks like we won’t have one solid until January probably. Until then, hopefully we will have subs that come for a few days a week. We are supposed to focus on mission work until then. This will be hard, because there isn’t a good way to stay completely busy by just doing mission work. The only thing we can do is visitations to the local people. We meet with the pastor of the church, Mark Montero, tomorrow to figure out how we should spend our time. Our caretakers are the Riveral family—Rizal gets paid by IHSA to upkeep the church and provide what the student missionaries need. His wife Noemi has been cooking for us; starting Monday she will only cook lunch for us. They have three girls and a boy, I think…I haven’t figured out their family entirely yet. The oldest is Rhea (pronounced Ria). She is my age, 20, and just graduated from college with an education degree. She is nice to have around because she speaks fairly good English and is a good translator for us during outings. The two other girls are Collette and Fiona. Fiona is adopted.

Today we got our first taste of what a medical clinic might be like. A little girl got run over by a bus about a month ago. She just recently got let out of the hospital, but they let her out before her wound was barely healed. I walked into the little one-room clinic and I am sure my jaw almost dropped—her leg was completely raw flesh from the knee down. It was totally exposed muscle and fat, I couldn’t even see where any skin might be left. Her foot was swollen and had cuts and bruises. She needs a skin graft, but those are expensive and might not even be possible without going all the way to Manila. Dr. Mitzelfelt (Jay Coon’s father-in-law and the doctor who will probably be back in January to run the clinic) and some others poured Hydrogen Perioxide over the entire thing and then bandaged it up. After that, they let the dressing dry and then pulled it off to let it bleed and pull off the excess tissue to clean the wound better. Apparently it’s a lot better from what it was…there were maggots in the wound when Dr. Mitz saw the girl a few days before. The girl (7 years old) cried and cried but it was her mother and father who I really felt sorry for…her mother looked tired and drained. The bus company will not pay for the hospital bills because they said the mother must have been negligent if her daughter ran into the road. I think the father used up most of his money trying to get treatment for her. Her ear was also injured, and was sewn together when she was in the hospital so now her ear can’t drain and she can’t hear out of it very well. I hope they can get decent treatment for it.

Please keep me in your prayers. The homesickness and culture shock feels almost unbearable.

First Few Days..

We are finally in Pagudpud after about a thousand years. We are all still very tired but it is nice to be here. So far I am quite homesick...I can't imagine 8 months right now! Your prayers are greatly appreciated. It is the rainy season right now...It is very warm but has been overcast and pours rain periodically. Yesterday we went on an eight minute "tricycle" ride (like a rickshaw) to the beautiful tropical white sand beach. I want to visit there often! We sipped coconut milk out of the actual coconut and toured the beautiful (and cheap!) resorts around us. Then three of us went to be judges for the local high school's beauty pageant. It lasted 4 and a half hours...but was fun to watch. They are very westernized in their music and clothing...quite risque though! The girls had lots of dance routines in their little belly shirts...the boys were partial to lots of pelvic movements in their dances...definitely an experience! Pray that the doctor arrives soon...without him, we don't know if the clinic will run. He is a filipino man and we have not heard from him yet. Please pray lots and lots for me! I am incredibly homesick and need prayers. I miss America a lot. But I know this will turn out for the best...at least I hope so!

Escape

So in three months--almost to the day--I will be headed to the Philippines to work as a student missionary. I have pangs of fear once in awhile, and for the last couple of nights I've dreamed that I'm already there. I am so scared, mostly because I don't know what to expect and I don't know what exactly I will be doing, or what I am supposed to bring, or what we eat, or what we do in our free time, or...anything, actually. I am scared that everyone will forget about me when I am gone. I know that is a little selfish, but what if I come back and no one really cares? It's a very real possibility. Everyone's lives will have gone on just fine without me. And I will come back a little different, maybe. I will have seen so many more things than my friends at school. I will have experienced a whole new culture, I will have lived right on the ocean in a tropical country for a whole eight months. I will have...maybe lived a little more? I think my life will be more "full."

I will miss my family and friends and America terribly. I will miss everything so so so so much, I know I will. But somehow, I think I will be okay. I think I will have fun, and I think I will meld in pretty well.

Sometimes, I am SO glad I am leaving. To be at school next year....to have another year of classes, to deal with all the junk that comes with friends and college...I kind of just want to escape. I don't want to be here to have to deal with it. Maybe that's cowardly or whatever, but I am just sort of glad I will be far away from things that I know would normally make me mad or frustrated.

I will be able to be who I am, without all the extra stuff. I will be able to be whoever I want. I will be able to be leader, I will be able to start fresh, to start over again. I will be able to have my own life experience, and make my own experience and my own friends and my own...whatever. I will be able to be who I want. I can push myself without having the guilt of others pushing me. I will be able to connect with people the way that I am supposed to. I can live without the social boundaries of having to "see" and "be seen" with others. I can just...be.

It will be the hardest thing I have ever done and the scariest thing I have ever experienced. It will be difficult and uncomfortable and I will want to go home. But I will have my escape, and in the process, I think it will become more than just an escape. I think it will become home, somehow. Maybe.

Places I Want to Go (in no particular order)

1. Greece. Athens and Greek Isles

2. Italy, specifically Rome, Venice, and Florence

3. Turkey--Istanbul

4. Paris, France

5. The Swiss Alps

6. Bangalore, India--again

7. The Taj Mahal

8. Egypt

9. New Zealand

10. Sydney, Australia

11. The ship graveyard in Africa

12. South Africa

13. Iceland

14. Hawaii

15. The Caribbean Islands