Bloomsday

The thing about time is that it goes by,

And lately it has felt like my life has been going by at this alarming rate--like, where did the last three days go?  They just sped by so fast I didn't have time to think about them.  

Home.  Home from the Philippines.  Home from the tropics, home to icy cold Spokane, home to my family and my pets and my friends and my places...

and I'm startled to find out that, on the outside at least, that I am still basically the same person I was before I left.  I am a bit more serious, maybe--a bit more melancholy, more mature, more aware...more wary, more worried...more alive, more smiley...just more of stuff. 

I landed in Spokane on Bloomsday, which I thought was appropriate.  I may have missed the actual Bloomsday race, but I am finishing a race, too, just a longer and different one.

There were hills and ups and downs and sunny spots and cold spots and I was always out of breath

but the exercise was so good for me...and as I fell over the finish line, I thought...wasn't this supposed to be more graceful?  A more prepared finish?  But I like it like this better.  

I kept thinking that being home would feel so weird and different and reverse-culture-shock-y, but honestly, I feel very normal...I keep having to think back to my 8-month life in the Philippines and remind myself that it was REAL, it wasn't just a dream.  All the happinesses and hurts were real.  

I could describe my last two weeks in the Philippines, but there is too much to write, too many emotions to express, too many people I dearly love and miss and also things that I was glad to leave.  

Someday, I hope these two lives can merge...will I see them again?  Will I hear their voices?  Or will I just be caught again in my grind, my place, my home...is it really so bad to be caught in it?  

Two homes, one life.  

May 1st, 2011 On my flight home from Seattle to Spokane.  

And now it's as if I am in "between" land, in the quiet between chapters of my life.  

I'm scared, I'm nervous, I miss the Phils, and I can't stop smiling.  

Contrast?  Maybe.  

Here on my flight to Spokane from Seattle--

I'm home!  And yet I am am in a dream, missing my old life...

Lord, save us, help me..

Ah!  Descending, and my heart is racing-

My last few moments of me, independence, peace

My time in the sky is over; no more bird's eye view.

Time to enter the fray, to touch down..

Ready, Rainey?  

Ready for the world?

Flying low, flying lower, 

Hello Spokane!

And...

Touch